My maundering and experiences with music, life, and general random transient nodes of thought!
Sometimes, I just need to stop overthinking and over-producing and over-anything-ing.
I've been thrashing about which MIDI controller I should get, which VSTi I should get, which DAW to use, etc. etc. etc. - which is typically my downfall. Actual composition just stops as I decide "what to buy next".
So, finally facing my fatal flaw, I'm going back to some serious basics.
First: I deinstalled SONAR. I'm not goig to score to video, and while I'm
I was pretty sure it was all up for me.
Sold everything I owned, no unemployment (contractors aren't eligible), last ten bucks.. I was ready to do something radical but that would at lest keep me in food and shelter.. and one week later I had a job!
Talk about cutting it close. Jesus, this was as tight as it's ever been.
Regardless - after the roller coaster ended, now it's rebuilding time. I sold off about 80% of my music software, the rest was non-transferrable
.. I'm starting on a second album. I know, after I wept blood to finish Thrown, I should run the hell away and delete my VSTs...
..BUT! There is some attraction, dare I call it a need, to CREATE. I feel music in my blood and soul,She sings to me in dreams and shadows, and I am helpless in the hands of my Muse..
This one is a transitional album, between the soul-crushing emptiness of Thrown and the dreamland of "Lord of Dawn"..
If you want to know
I see a lot of post-mortems in the gamedev world, where I spent a lot of time, but not so much for albums. So, friends ad others, learn from my fail!
ARTWORK: I had a graphics designer I was working with. He is BRILLIANT, and I had cash, but he got a better contract so I had to scramble to make my own album art. Lesson learned: NAIL DOWN THE ART EARLY.
DAW: Some DAWs are good for one thing, some another. I threw all my eggs into one basket and the basket broke! Tracktions
I feel so tired, mentally. This has been one long damn hard haul.
One hour and eleven minutes of dark ambient music. Over $800 in software used. More long nights than I care to remember. Endless self-doubt. Lost weekends recording and re-recording and re-re-re-recording. Back issues from sitting still for hours. Headaches. A lot of feeling like this was pointless. An increase in alcohol intake. Sleepless nights from stress.
But what support network I have (looking